Week Eight, Questions One and Four

Question One: “Commitments”

This poem has conflicting themes contained within: the speaker’s relationship with his family and how his lifestyle affects that relationship. This seemingly autobiographical poem, written by Essex Hemphill, suggests feelings of longing and sadness, yet he obviously cares for his family. The opening two lines are powerful and contain a dark feeling: “I will always be there/ When the silence is exhumed” (553). I believe Hemphill intended this to mean that no matter what, even when there is nothing left but silence, his true self will always exist. His family is unaware of his orientation as a gay man, as the lines state, “the shoulders of unsuspecting aunts/ expecting to throw rice at me someday” (553). This means that they expect him to happily marry a woman someday. This brings us back to the first two lines. Perhaps he suspects that when his family finds out, they will be disappointed and possibly even try to forget about him, hence the silence. He is stating that he will always be there, depicted in the photographs surrounded by a typical loving family. He paints the pictures of family gatherings, including “the hazy smoke of barbecue” along with Christmas and Thanksgiving celebrations. He states he is “always there/ for critical emergencies/ graduations/ the middle of the night” (553). The break in the second line is important, emphasizing again that he is “always there.” The key contradiction here comes in two places, with the first being when he talks about how his “arms are empty/ in those photos, too/ so empty they would break/ around a lover” (553). However loving and caring his family may be, and despite how much he cares for them, he cannot express his true self by bringing a lover around his family, and certainly not for family celebrations and gatherings. With the placement of the line “around a lover,” it ends the previous stanza, yet begins the new one. He is torn between being there for his family, as well as being there for his lover. His spirit is in turmoil, caused by attempting to balance his family life with his romantic life. The poem comes together in the last stanza with the lines, “I am the invisible son/ In the family photos/ nothing appears out of character/ I smile as I serve my duty” (553). He is the “invisible son” because his family does not know who he truly is, thus creating a churning contradiction within himself. He acts as though everything is alright, hiding who he truly is, as “nothing appears out of character.” He serves his duty as the son his parents can be proud of. He puts on the act and lives his life around his family as someone he is not. This is his choice to put on this act, and he is quite possibly content while he serves his duty.

Question Four: “A Chinese Banquet”

Before reading the actual poem, “A Chinese Banquet” by Kitty Tsui, I read that Tsui is of Chinese heritage, and given that she wrote a book about San Francisco gay life, I assume that she is gay. What struck me the most was the line in italics before the first line of the poem. It read: “for the one who was not invited” (554). I expect this poem to be about a family, and given the stoic and prideful nature of Chinese culture, that is rejecting of a person, possibly a person close to Tsui. After reading the first four stanzas, it seems like a fairly normal family gathering, but a couple of lines stand out. “all the women over twelve/ wore long gowns and a corsage/ except for me” (554) discusses how she was the only one not dressed femininely. Immediately, she stands out from the women in her family at this informal gathering. The family makes small talk with each other while she “suck[s] on shrimp and squab/ dreaming of the cloudscape in your eyes” (555). She daydreams about being somewhere else and seems detached from her family. Given the line in italics before the start of the poem, this seems fitting. The next three stanzas are filled with nagging from her mother, with a sense of disappointment. Her mother continues to ask her “what are you going to do with your life?” and discusses job opportunities, yet the question of marriage never comes up: “she no longer asks when I’m getting married” (555). It is as if her mother has given up on this subject. Tsui longs to have a close relationship with her mother, wanting to hug her and feel her love, but at this point, it seems near impossible. The next four stanzas are almost painful to read. It seems like she tells her mother that she is gay, or she is trying to convince herself to tell her mother, even though her mother already knows it. Being the strong Chinese woman that her mother is, she shakes her head as emotion takes over her face, “her eyes are wet but/ she will not let tears fall” (555). Her mother holds back her sorrow that her daughter is gay. The last three stanzas are fitting with the italicized line at the beginning. She speaks of the banquet being “very much a family affair” (555) but how her lover is not invited because she is just that: her gay lover. Her lover is not considered part of the family in her family’s eyes, despite that her “…home is in her arms” (556). This poem mostly fit with my expectations of it because her family is rejecting of her lover. Her mother especially has an especially hard time with, although she tries not to acknowledge her pain. It is obvious that she cares about her partner very much as she longs to be able to tell them she feels like she is home when she is with her.